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Can I Be Christian and Kinky?

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Yikes, how do you even begin to unpack this question? Growing up in a Baptist church I was taught that in regards to sex you either:

  • We’re married and had enough of it to start a family, or
  • Weren’t having it as long as you live under this roof young lady!!

It wasn’t until I reached college that I began to form my own opinions on sex, and I gotta tell ya: I think you can, in fact, be Christian and kinky.

When you’re figuring out if you can be both Christian and kinky, I think it’s important to define what each of those identities means to you. As a Christian, I was raised in the Baptist church, but I don’t necessarily adhere to all of their individual rituals and beliefs. My Christianity was started by my Baptist foundations but has grown to place a greater emphasis on my relationship with God than with a strict regimented religion. As such, I rank my actions as a Christian as those that give glory to God in making me more of the person he wants me to be, and those that potentially distract from that ideal.

So What Does It Mean to Be Kinky?

That’s also an incredibly difficult blanket definition to prescribe. For some kinky can be oral sex, for some it’s butt plugs and chains. When looking at the question of being both Christian and kinky, you have to remember that you are a child of God. He knew who you were long before your grandparents even met, he knows your deepest fears, and he also knows your deepest desires. There’s no kink you have that he doesn’t already know about, and he loves you regardless.

In addition to you, God also created sex. In Genesis, the scripture talks about the role of sex in marriage, as the two leave their homes to form a union, and to “become one flesh” as man and wife. God could have designed procreation of the human species similar to that of plants where we rely on pollen and anthers, but instead he gave us the gift of sex.

With that in mind, if two consenting adults agree to participate in a kink, then I can’t see the harm! God wants us to enjoy sex, and outside of the Ten Commandments, he didn’t necessarily leave a manual on how to live our best sex lives yet*. If your kink fulfills you, celebrates the relationship between you and another consenting adult, and it’s not with someone else’s partner behind their back – then go for it.

*I acknowledge that the Bible does lean towards favoring sex within a heterosexual marriage, but that it also references several instances of polygamy. Love who you love, and do it with consent.

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